Fathers, don't stir up
anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of
the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 CSB17)
The Bible tells fathers to raise children in
the training and instruction of the Lord. What happens when fathers fail to do
this? Some years ago I heard a true story that illustrates the importance of
fathers by showing what happens when fathers are not around to carry out their
God given role. This story is about elephant fathers, but I think you’ll see
how it can apply to humans.
In the 1990’s, game rangers in South
Africa's Pilanesberg Park began finding rhinos which had been killed. When
poachers kill rhinos they usually take their horns to sell, but these rhinos
still had their horns. The location and nature of the severe injuries were not
consistent with rhinos killing rhinos, nor with lions killing them (not that it
is easy for lions to kill a rhinoceros). There is only one creature in the
world that has the strength to kill these rhinos in the fashion in which they were
being killed: elephants.
If you find that strange, so did the park rangers. While elephants
have great strength, they are generally gentle and have no reason nor motivation
to attack and kill rhinos. Additionally, the rhinos are not stupid enough to
provoke elephants, and have no reason to do so. Why were the elephants killing
the rhinos? The answer to that question lay in the background of the guilty
elephants.
The elephant population in a certain area of
Africa was becoming too high. Rather than kill the elephants to thin the heard,
a decision was made to try to move some of the elephants to another area in
Africa. However, it was too difficult to move the large adult bull elephants at
that time. The distance they were to be moved required loading the elephants
onto trucks and the trucks that were available could not carry adult bull elephants.
So, they moved only young elephants and some adult females.
Those young elephants grew up without their fathers
or father figures. As these fatherless elephants entered adolescence they began
acting out. They attacked and killed the rhinos without any real reason. Trucks
were specially equipped to allow adult bull elephants to be brought in. As soon
at the adult bull elephants arrived the killing of the rhinos stopped instantly.
(You may read this story, with a few more
details, in this CBS news article: The Delinquents. The
BBC included this story in a broadcast that you can listen to starting at about
the 13 minute point here.
I am far from the first to see this story as an analogy for the importance of
human fathers and the damage done when human fathers are not present. Among
others, James Dobson mentioned this story in his book, Bringing Up Boys.)
Humans
And he will turn the
hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their
fathers. Otherwise, I will come and strike the land with a curse. (Malachi 4:6 CSB17)
Does the story about angry, violent elephants
who grew up without their fathers apply to people? I think it does. I believe
that part of the reason (certainly not the whole reason or the only reason) we
are seeing so much anger and hate in our culture at this time, as well as a
breakdown of common civility and courtesy, is rooted in the breakdown of the
family as God designed it.
When I was in Bible seminary back in
1993-1995 I was blessed with the opportunity to be involved with ministry to
youth in a juvenile detention center. Actually, there were two types of
ministry I was involved in there. One was a program where we gave presentations
to groups of youth, and in the other I was a mentor for one young man. While
there were exceptions, I quickly learned that the vast majority of these youths
did not have their father in their home. Statistics and the observations of
others verify that what I observed personally is in fact a broad and deep
trend. Fatherless homes tend to greatly increase the likelihood of children
facing all types of difficulties and falling into many kinds of traps, sins,
and harmful behaviors.
If you google “fatherless homes” or something
similar, you will quickly find piles of sites and statistics showing the dire
effects of growing up in homes where the father is not fulfilling His God
given role. One
such site states that children who grow up in homes without fathers are:
* At 4x greater risk of poverty
* 7x more likely to become pregnant as a teen
* More likely to experience abuse and neglect
* More likely to have behavioral problems
* More likely to abuse drugs and alcohol
* More likely to go to prison
* 2x more likely to drop out of high school
* . . . and more.
Dads matter! And tragically, there have been
more and more children growing up without their fathers.
In addition to my experience with ministry in
juvenile detention centers, back in 2013 I worked as a substitute teacher in
between church positions. I worked in a county with a high percentage of broken
homes. All that hurt and brokenness was carried into the schools and
classrooms. The courageous teachers who work in such schools face an extremely
difficult environment. One teacher is in a room with twenty or more precious
children. Not just one or two, but many of these children are dealing with heartbreaking
home situations and as a result the children are depressed, angry, and often
lack respect for the teachers. They are hurting and often hurt each other and
themselves. Do we really expect these children to grow up to be godly,
productive, wise members of our society?
Solutions
But you, God, see the
trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The
victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless. (Psalm 10:14 NIV)
Is there hope? Yes! Our hope, our only hope,
is in God.
Throughout God’s Word He commands that we provide
special care for the fatherless (for example: Exodus 22:22, Deuteronomy 14:19,
Isaiah 1:17, Jeremiah 22:3, James 1:27, and many others). And He promises to do
so Himself.
At the deepest level what we need is a widespread
revival. Only as many people turn to God in faith and repentance and as many
wounded hearts find healing and grace can we hope to see a reversal of the
breakdown of the family and all the ills that follow.
As we pray and work for revival, we must
continue to do what we can in the meantime. God works through us. There are
many ways in which godly men can serve as fathers to the fatherless. Some of
these ways involve organized ministries, but there are also many opportunities
among our own extended families, neighbors, and in our churches. Investing deeply
in our youth, and providing extra care and ministry for those in more difficult
situations, is a valuable and worthwhile use of our time, energy, and money. It
is not easy, but valuable, life-changing ministry rarely is.
My wife and I were blessed with the opportunity
to serve the Lord in Indonesia for 14 years. I constantly shared the gospel
with my neighbors (most of whom were Muslims) and I had many opportunities to
teach God’s Word in a number of settings, including in an Indonesian Bible
College. Yet, when I think back on that time, while I thank God for all the
different types of ministry opportunities, I have always felt that our most valuable
and important and fruitful ministry was one we didn’t expect: Hope and I ended
up being spiritual parents to several young Indonesians who needed godly
parenting. Some of them lived in our home for years. Today they have families
of their own and are bearing good fruit for God’s Kingdom.
So, let us . . .
* Give thanks for good, faithful fathers
* Go out of our way to support single parents
* Seek ways in which we can help, support,
encourage, and show love to children from fatherless (or motherless) homes or
other difficult homes (homes where the father is present, but abusive, can be
even worse than fatherless homes)
* Be ready to show forgiveness and mercy
* Pray and work for a revival that will lead
to many being saved, many repenting, many finding healing, and many more
fathers being faithful, godly leaders of their homes
* Constantly point people to our Heavenly
Father, who remains faithful when all others fail
Fathers, don't stir up
anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of
the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4 CSB17)
If you liked this, you might want to read this blog post about another spiritual lesson from elephants:
Spiritual Lessons from Elephants and Water Buffalo
Hebrews 13:16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others . . .